Today we ran the Susan G Komen 5K in Dallas. We've run quite a few races but none of them could even compare with this race. If you're looking for a running race, this probably isn't the one for you. I did feel slightly bad for a client that ran it as her first 5K ever, but I hope the overall experience for her was one that she will always remember.
As I found myself running by myself, behind the group that I had helped organize and trained to get there- I couldn't help but remember how much I had distanced myself from breast cancer awareness throughout the past years.
It was too hard to face as a kid- losing an amazing Aunt to breast cancer mixed with being relieved to see a dad that had been deployed overseas but got to come home because something awful happened. It was such a mess in my mind at the time. And then saying goodbye to him again. Not because the pain was over, but the days had passed and it was time to go back. Nothing was okay about what was happening in my 15 year old brain, but I didn't know how to process it then.
I've been working hard to face problems lately and trying to get to the root of them instead of burying them deep within my soul only to have them brought back up years later. In the middle of running, I could feel it- the tears and pain were a little overwhelming. I knew I had signed up for this race for a hidden reason. I needed to feel something bigger than myself. And I certainly did.
My only reason for writing any of this down is so that I can remember how I felt today. It wasn't like a normal 5K that I'm used to training for. It was so much more. I felt my eyes opened to my surroundings that even when I feel like there's so much out of place right now, I'm so blessed. I hope I remember the feeling of looking around and seeing what hope actually looks like. I had lost the hope for so long when it came to cancer and didn't realize how much I needed the glimpse of hope back in my life.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
Garland
"Live. And Live Well. BREATHE. Breathe in and Breathe deeply. Be PRESENT. Do not be past. Do not be future. Be now. On a crystal clear, breezy 70 degree day, roll down the windows and FEEL the wind against your skin. Feel the warmth of the sun.
If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE. Get knee-deep in a novel and LOSE track of time.
If you bike, pedal HARD… and if you crash then crash well.
Feel the SATISFACTION of a job well done—a paper well-written, a project thoroughly completed, a play well-performed. If you must wipe the snot from your 3-year old’s nose, don’t be disgusted if the Kleenex didn’t catch it all… because soon he’ll be wiping his own.
If you’ve recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE. And Grieve well. At the table with friends and family, LAUGH. If you’re eating and laughing at the same time, then might as well laugh until you puke. And if you eat, then SMELL. The aromas are not impediments to your day. Steak on the grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven. And TASTE. Taste every ounce of flavor. Taste every ounce of friendship. Taste every ounce of Life. Because-it-is-most-definitely-
It's been a month since Garland passed away. He made it to heaven just in time for Easter, which we're sure included an "all you can eat" buffet.
If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE. Get knee-deep in a novel and LOSE track of time.
If you bike, pedal HARD… and if you crash then crash well.
Feel the SATISFACTION of a job well done—a paper well-written, a project thoroughly completed, a play well-performed. If you must wipe the snot from your 3-year old’s nose, don’t be disgusted if the Kleenex didn’t catch it all… because soon he’ll be wiping his own.
If you’ve recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE. And Grieve well. At the table with friends and family, LAUGH. If you’re eating and laughing at the same time, then might as well laugh until you puke. And if you eat, then SMELL. The aromas are not impediments to your day. Steak on the grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven. And TASTE. Taste every ounce of flavor. Taste every ounce of friendship. Taste every ounce of Life. Because-it-is-most-definitely-
It's been a month since Garland passed away. He made it to heaven just in time for Easter, which we're sure included an "all you can eat" buffet.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Still here...
So much has happened since my last post, but I don't know where to start/how to get back into blogging and I find that I just keep putting it off more and more.
updates:
Ran our first half marathon together (DRC Half) in November.
Joined a small group through our church late November. I very rarely have the feeling of "this is exactly where we're supposed to be in our lives right now..." but it's so nice that BOTH of us feel that way about our group.
Jonna- Job promotion to Fitness Manager in Rockwall, TX on December 6th, 2011. Mid-December to March(ish) is the craziest time in the gym...hence lack of blogging, social life, etc.
Tomorrow we turn a quarter of a century. where did the time go? and where will it go the next quarter? It's weird to say that I don't know the answer to either of those questions and I can't be more excited about not knowing what the future holds.
updates:
Ran our first half marathon together (DRC Half) in November.
Joined a small group through our church late November. I very rarely have the feeling of "this is exactly where we're supposed to be in our lives right now..." but it's so nice that BOTH of us feel that way about our group.
Jonna- Job promotion to Fitness Manager in Rockwall, TX on December 6th, 2011. Mid-December to March(ish) is the craziest time in the gym...hence lack of blogging, social life, etc.
Tomorrow we turn a quarter of a century. where did the time go? and where will it go the next quarter? It's weird to say that I don't know the answer to either of those questions and I can't be more excited about not knowing what the future holds.
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